• Movie Review Thread

  • Discuss your favorite movie or TV show here. Looking for something to watch? Get your recommendations inside.
Discuss your favorite movie or TV show here. Looking for something to watch? Get your recommendations inside.
 #62934  by SkeetDixon
 Wed Aug 02, 2017 9:42 pm
Jesus, how the fuck don't we have a thread to review movies? We've got tardo threads for all this nerdie-ass shit but no thread to review movies! :x

Kong - Skull Island

(Spoiler Alert)

I was not very optimistic about this movie and avoided watching it for a long time. It would be hard to top the Peter Jackson CGI in the last one, but I gave it a go.

The movie started out okay. It did a pretty good job at building suspense and developing characters. When they finally get to the island is a big let down. It actually ruined the movie before it really got started.

So they are dropping these "seismic charges" under the pretense of mapping the island. Apparently, the real motive is to flush out Kong. First off, do you really need to "flush out" a 100 story monster ape? Doesn't make sense at all. Very poor writing.

The second major pitfall is the end result of dropping the seismic charges. They are flying about 25 helicopters as a unit. Kong attacks the helicopters once they start dropping the charges. He manages to destroy all 25 helicopters. All the helicopters decided to fly into the 200 ft tall monkey rather than get the fuck out of there. Again, horrible writing. They were just forcing it through there.

After the horrid beginning, the movie picks up and recovers some ground. The creatures on the island were kind of interesting and the soldiers interactions with them. They couldn't even really get that right though.

The evil bone creatures in the movie were the most retarded looking things ever. They were anatomically retarded. Two fucking legs, off-balance, a tail, and a beak? WTF kind of retarded monster is that? I'd like to slap the shit out of the guy that thought that up. I can only imagine all of the better ideas that were scrapped in favor of that retarded Dodo Bird mother fucker.

The native people were not terrible but did not live up to the natives in the previous movie. Granted, the scene of first-contact with the natives in the last movie was hard to top. John C Reilly was kind of funny as the retard he typically plays. No qualms there.

The final battle was okay. but it was retarded how the humans were incorporated into the fight, like they were really helping out..... The girl in the movie is pretty hot but was walking around in push-up bra the whole movie. The scene where Kong walks up to the tracker and the girl at night was absolutely awful. It was cringe-worthy.

This movie suffered from way to much Samuel Jackson. The movie sort of becomes about him at the end. He shouldn't have been such a central character. The guy is fucking cancer to a movie.

Overall the movie sucks pretty bad but is mildy entertaining.

5/10
 #62939  by cunnalingus
 Wed Aug 02, 2017 9:53 pm
SkeetDixon wrote:
Wed Aug 02, 2017 9:42 pm
Jesus, how the fuck don't we have a thread to review movies? We've got tardo threads for all this nerdie-ass shit but no thread to review movies! :x

Kong - Skull Island

(Spoiler Alert)

I was not very optimistic about this movie and avoided watching it for a long time. It would be hard to top the Peter Jackson CGI in the last one, but I gave it a go.

The movie started out okay. It did a pretty good job at building suspense and developing characters. When they finally get to the island is a big let down. It actually ruined the movie before it really got started.

So they are dropping these "seismic charges" under the pretense of mapping the island. Apparently, the real motive is to flush out Kong. First off, do you really need to "flush out" a 100 story monster ape? Doesn't make sense at all. Very poor writing.

The second major pitfall is the end result of dropping the seismic charges. They are flying about 25 helicopters as a unit. Kong attacks the helicopters once they start dropping the charges. He manages to destroy all 25 helicopters. All the helicopters decided to fly into the 200 ft tall monkey rather than get the fuck out of there. Again, horrible writing. They were just forcing it through there.

After the horrid beginning, the movie picks up and recovers some ground. The creatures on the island were kind of interesting and the soldiers interactions with them. They couldn't even really get that right though.

The evil bone creatures in the movie were the most retarded looking things ever. They were anatomically retarded. Two fucking legs, off-balance, a tail, and a beak? WTF kind of retarded monster is that? I'd like to slap the shit out of the guy that thought that up. I can only imagine all of the better ideas that were scrapped in favor of that retarded Dodo Bird mother fucker.

The native people were not terrible but did not live up to the natives in the previous movie. Granted, the scene of first-contact with the natives in the last movie was hard to top. John C Reilly was kind of funny as the retard he typically plays. No qualms there.

The final battle was okay. but it was retarded how the humans were incorporated into the fight, like they were really helping out..... The girl in the movie is pretty hot but was walking around in push-up bra the whole movie. The scene where Kong walks up to the tracker and the girl at night was absolutely awful. It was cringe-worthy.

This movie suffered from way to much Samuel Jackson. The movie sort of becomes about him at the end. He shouldn't have been such a central character. The guy is fucking cancer to a movie.

Overall the movie sucks pretty bad but is mildy entertaining.

5/10
The butler did it.
 #63988  by SkeetDixon
 Wed Aug 09, 2017 12:20 am
The Cure for Wellness-

(Spoiler Alert)

This movie is pretty well-done. The scenery, buildings, and sets are impressive. The acting is solid.

The story itself is pretty ambitious. There are a ton of plot holes that are not too hard to bare. Some of the plot was a bit too transparent, like with the constant emphasis on the water.

The plot of this movie builds pretty well and keeps you on the line. The problem was once you finally got to the good stuff, the movie breezed right through it with no explanation. This movie needed more mad scientist stuff to better explain the processes towards the end of the movie. How did that work when they pumped the lizards in the guy's tummy to make the serum? At least some type of explanation would've been nice. Also, how did they brainwash the people like that and turn them into submissive, controlled zombies? Again, just some type of bull-shit explanation would've been nice.

These kinds of questions needed answers to help the viewer forgive the endless amount of plot holes. My last gripe was the dude's face at the end peeling off. That looked stupid and fake. That fake looking shit really side-tracked the end of the movie. How come only his face was burned? How were his hands okay? They should've just avoided that altogether because it just introduced another plot hole.

In summation, this movie is full of plot holes but worth a watch. You have to be more forgiving with psychological thrillers. I respect the ambition of what they wanted to do. It wasn't really possible to pull it off due to poor writing. Still, the movie is well-done and entertaining, allowing you to forgive most of the plot holes.

7.3/10
 #64649  by SkeetDixon
 Sun Aug 13, 2017 1:34 pm
Hell or High Water-

This is a guy movie for real alpha-dogs. I guarantee this movie got mediocre reviews from the media. That's because the media is a bunch of fucking twinks and nothing they say matters.
(Spoiler Alert)

The movie is a good length, not too long, not too short. It is a bit slow at times, but the payoff is worth it. The last bank robbery gone wrong is freaking awesome. Even better than that was when the good ol' boys give chase on the highway and the robber gets out with the assault rifle to scare'm off. Fucking jizzed my pants there.

The end was awesome too. The crazy brother's last stand was pretty sweet. Also, the other brother gets away which is always good. The movie is pretty well-acted. Lots of Jeff Bridges cowboy talk and his racial potshots at his partner were pretty good. The only thing really missing from the movie was some character development. They could've done a better job of that to make the viewer have a stronger connection to the characters. Oh well, that kinda stuff is for fags anyways. ;)

8.3/10
BDR529 liked this
 #64653  by BDR529
 Sun Aug 13, 2017 2:03 pm
SkeetDixon wrote:
Sun Aug 13, 2017 1:34 pm
Hell or High Water-

This is a guy movie for real alpha-dogs. I guarantee this movie got mediocre reviews from the media. That's because the media is a bunch of fucking twinks and nothing they say matters.
(Spoiler Alert)

The movie is a good length, not too long, not too short. It is a bit slow at times, but the payoff is worth it. The last bank robbery gone wrong is freaking awesome. Even better than that was when the good ol' boys give chase on the highway and the robber gets out with the assault rifle to scare'm off. Fucking jizzed my pants there.

The end was awesome too. The crazy brother's last stand was pretty sweet. Also, the other brother gets away which is always good. The movie is pretty well-acted. Lots of Jeff Bridges cowboy talk and his racial potshots at his partner were pretty good. The only thing really missing from the movie was some character development. They could've done a better job of that to make the viewer have a stronger connection to the characters. Oh well, that kinda stuff is for fags anyways. ;)

8.3/10
Yeah, I went and saw that when it first came out last year. Had kind of a "No Country For Old Men" feel to it. I liked it a lot too. One of the better movies I've seen lately.
 #82607  by Demeter
 Mon Nov 06, 2017 4:59 am
Moonlight - 8/10 when compared to movies overall, 4/10 when compared to movies I personally am able to sit through.
1/10 for Annie Hall, meaning I could barely sit through it. Honestly, I was forced to, so it doesn't even really deserve a 1.
2/10 for Pulp Fiction
3/10 for Pirates of the Caribbean
4/10 for Moonlight
5/10 for Mad Max
6/10 for Life is Beautiful
7/10 for The Golden Compass
8/10 for The Imitation Game
9/10 for Harry Potter films/Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children.
10/10 for Sherlock w/Benedict Cumberbatch (Not that nasty Robert Downey Jr. whose films would never even make it to my list.) And Doctor Who even though they aren't technically movies.